Dirty Yellow Rat B******!

Okay, so apparently I’ve been ratted out by a writerly friend’s blog.  Who knew that other people’s blogs kept track of the last time you blogged?  ::shakes fist at the Internet::

So I’m back.  I’m blogging.  And I’m better than ever.  (One of those things is untrue – I’ll leave it to you to figure out.)

Today at Writers Camp (more on that another time), after I’d been told that I had been “ratted out” I got to thinking about some of the best insults I’d ever heard.    The one that stuck with me is “Dirty yellow rat b******!”  Some Southie mobster was being interviewed about the arrest and plea deal of one of his esteemed colleagues and he called him that – right on TV!  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  Not only was the guy a rat, he was a rat-b******.  And he was not only yellow, but a dirty yellow.  How descriptive!  (I’ll bet that guy has a book deal by now.  Dirty ******.)

Another one that comes to mind is something a friend was called in a British pub.  He got into a shoving match with some guy and the guy called him a “big girl’s blouse.”  I have no idea what that is, but it tickles my fancy.  Another insult (same guy also in the UK), “You stupid fist!”   Where do they come up with these things?  Or, maybe more importantly, how does my friend find himself in these situations?

So tell me, what’s the best worst thing you’ve ever called someone or been called?  I want to know!

Oh, and brace yourselves…I’ll be blogging more often before that ******* blog rats me out again.

PS:  The writerly friend is Penny Piva at http://pennylou.blogspot.com/2012/06/arch-she-sways.html. Go there and read her blog too!)