Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Breakup

Wow, this is awkward, a lot more awkward than I thought it would be.  I see you looking at me expectantly.  You’re waiting for me to say something.  I’m waiting for me to say something.  But what is there to say?  

It’s over.

It’s been a fabulous run.  I mean it, really.  It was great…a real rollercoaster ride!  I remember the first time we laid eyes on each other, sizing each other up.  You looked nervous.  I’ll bet I did, too.  

And then we started to talk…at the same time!  How funny was that?  You had a million questions for me, I tried to give you answers, but let’s face it:  Most of my answers didn’t make you happy, not really.  Well, sure…sometimes you were happy, like the times I told you how wonderful you are, and how smart and funny, and how I loved seeing you every day.  The good times.

But there were bad times too.

All the times you didn’t listen.  Those happened more frequently as we spent more time together.  Then there were the times you forgot I even existed.  You ignored my emails.  And then I’d ignore yours –they didn’t always go into my spam folder.  (I guess since we’re being honest now, I can tell you that some of them made it into that folder with a little help from me.  Sorry about that.)

I’m sorry about a lot of things, actually.  I’m sorry you felt disappointed during the bad times, and I’m sorry the great times didn’t last longer, but this kind of thing is hard work!  You don’t just stay great – that’s reserved for relationships like Kate and William, for crying out loud, and things like Godiva chocolate.

And now it’s over.  You’re looking a little tired, a little sad, but there’s a glimmer in your eye, too.  Is it excitement?  Deep down inside, you’re happy we're done.  You’ve already got your eyes set on greener pastures, the fabulous future stretching out in front of you.  You hope the next one will be better, nicer, kinder to you.  I hope the same.

It’s okay if you’re happy.  I’m happy it’s over too.  And a little bit sad.  Despite our ups and downs, I’ll miss you.  I’ll miss the way you made me laugh, the way you made me cry, the times I gritted my teeth to keep from throttling you.  You could be so infuriating.  And so great.

But it’s time to move on.  

You can smile as you leave, and I’ll smile too.  That doesn’t mean I won’t miss you.  

We’ve been through this before, you and I.  It’s just the end of the semester.  

There’ll be another one along sooner than we think.

1 comment:

  1. Work is possibly the most significant relationship we have. Shame that, like most things in life, it has to end. May your writing occupation never be cut asunder, and may your bumps in the road be inspiration to strengthen your relationship to it.(phew! For a moment I thought you were writing about your agent)