Wednesday, March 9, 2011

David Cassidy vs. Idi Amin - Steel Cage Match...or My Irrational Fears

Ever wonder where irrational fears come from?  You know the kind I’m talking about, like my sister’s fear of the word “tribunal.”    

I started thinking about that the other day when my friend mentioned David Cassidy was on Celebrity Apprentice.  Just the mention of his name brought flashes of terror.  I saw myself in a dark room – specifically the living room of my old childhood home –burgundy carpeting, the light from the TV casting an eerie glow, and “HEY!  I think I LOVE you!” playing in the background.  I don’t know exactly what happened that night while watching The Partridge Family, but I know something did, and I know this because my older sister was babysitting me.  Like any teenager, she was resentful of her chore and so I’m sure she took it out on me, all while The Partridge Family played innocuously in the background.  Scarred me for life.  (Thanks, sis!)

But that got me thinking about my other irrational childhood fear:  Idi Amin, the African general who staged a coup in Uganda in the 1970’s.  

Really?  Idi Amin, you ask.  Yes, Idi Amin Dada, to be perfectly correct (Thank you Wikipedia!).

Now, you have to understand I was much younger than my older siblings, so some of the stuff they watched was really not appropriate for a delicate child such as myself (yes, I typed that with a straight face).  Well, one night my other older sister was watching the news and a piece came on about Idi Amin’s takeover of Uganda and the terrible things he did to his own people. 

Scared the bejeezus out of me.  I made the mistake of asking my sister about him and her answer was:  “He’s an insane maniac who kills a lot of people.”  Insane, I gulped. Maniac?  I guess I should have better articulated, “But WHERE is he?” because at the age of eight, I had no idea where Africa was.   

I mean, how did I know that the chances of Idi Amin hopping a Jeep and DRIVING from Uganda to our tiny house in Massachusetts were pretty slim?  No one shared that tidbit with me.  I spent YEARS terrified of him.  I would cringe whenever I saw him on the news and wonder just how far away he was and when he would get to our house.   Stupid fear?   Most definitely…but a vivid one to this day.

I guess most irrational fears come from misinformation…well, all except the David Cassidy one because I’m SURE my sister must have tied me up and poked me with pins or something while the Partridges boarded their multicolored bus to head to their next gig.  

But that Idi Amin thing…that was real.  Now I look at it and laugh (kinda).  I can tuck that one away and say, “Heh.  You’ve got nothing to be afraid of.  That was just a stupid scary thing from when you were a kid.”   

Rationalizing is a wonderful thing…when you can do it.

Just don’t talk to me about killer bees.

1 comment:

  1. Nothing irrational about fear. Reminds me of the B movie title, "The Werewolves are Coming, the Rats are Here."
    You were a sane child compared to me. I remember a picture of Idi playing basketball with heads in a National Lampoon and even though I knew it was bad taste humor, it gave me a chill. If you saw Cassidy on Apprentice your fears would see that your fear was valid. Who knew a troll like that lived behind the 70s Bieber hair and Pepsodent smile?
    My fears were cerebral nightmares, her's a taste.
    -inanimate objects: from the wax indians at Plymoth Plantation to the figures in Filene's windows, I couldn't stop screaming.
    -bugs: I saw an illustration of a family having a BBQ in front of their house that was seated on a great expanse of green. The picture then magnified the image of bugs that lived beneath until they were twice the size of the house. All I could think of was these bugs, bigger than Buicks under my feet. Arrr!
    -Fantastic Voyage: my little mind would contemplate the oposite extreme. I saw a parody of the movie in a Mad magazine. In the frame the submarine was floating through the iris of a man. All I needed to think of was people floating around inside of me and I was off like a rocket.
    I'm comparitively better now but I stillI wonder why I'm allowed to walk among you all. Oh yeah, I remember, we're all batsh*t crazy on tiger blood.
    Just don't talk to me about Bozo and clowns.